"Forever Home on Mind" contained all the heaviest and most important stuff of my poetry and familial experience when I wrote it at 22 years old. A couple years later I thought it was crap.
An interviewer at Electric Literature asked me to read some of my poems in December 2010. I read her most of my best poetry, which she acted like she enjoyed, then I hesitated before reading "Forever". I said, "I wrote this a long time ago and I'm not sure if I want to read it." She said, "Well, read it if you want to read it. No pressure."
|Leslie's embarrassing me with my poem during Sideshow Gosko at the KGB Bar.|
I read it, and she said, "You were going to deprive me of that!" I could tell by her face she was sincere, but I was floored. She asked me to reread it for a recording.
Her response restored my faith in the poem, but I still didn't submit it or any other poem for publication till last month -- and This Land Press published it.
I don't know what this means. Should I stop submitting because my first submission got published (I'm currently batting 1.000) or should I stop trusting what I think about my own poetry?
I don't care really. I'm just terribly grateful for this moment.